AngelByBlessing

Going NUTS!

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 07:18:36 GMT

it's been really cold these days, eh? Golly, it's also been a while since i posted in my livejournal account. if it took a bit longer, i wouldv'e forgotten that i actually have an account. hahaha. Anyway, these cold, shivering and lonely nights made me appreciate how simple things can keep you warm (literally). Honestly, what better way to spend your "alone time" than well, being alone. Its not that i dont like company anymore, it's just that having time devoted only to yourself is a neccessity. I am not a loner, to make things clear.

the past week was not at all boring, though our calculus and analytic geometry professors were out attending a seminar the whole week. I got to spend more time with someone special. yikiii. It was really fun, but now that our free-time's up, i guess we'll be resuming normal schedules.

okay, now i've been slacking off the past week. It seems that there are so many things that i have been fogetting over and over again. this is not good.....not good at all. I've been putting things back to normal now before i go back to school tomorrow morning. that is if i get things back to normal.

i totally said to myself that i should focus now that my subjects and professors are thougher and meaner, and my sched's quite a killer. ooh that rhymed. FOCUS! see what i mean? im practically going nuts. but somehow i wish to balance my time with some affiliations that are valuable to me as well, or i might end up loosing them and i wouldn't even know what happened.

Celebrate!

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 12:42:40 GMT

OMG! i can't believe it! We got really high ratings from our blockmates regarding the mtv. there was no grade lower than 3.0 (90) Also our professor didn't say anything bad about the mtv, in fact she told us that the scenes were very clear and easy to understand. Wow! At last we are done! And the last project we will be working on is our english descriptive paper, but we only have to compile all our drafts and revise them and we're done. So good bye to all our projects this term! foo~

this wednesday would be the day we will claim our EAFs (schedule and assesment of tuition for 3rd term) from the vice-dean. yay! i am soo ready for next term! bring it on! you wanna piece of me?! huh?! huh?! argh!

next week would be the finals week and im nervous like crazy. i dunno, im quite hysterical out of my mind. Maybe im just too excited to get these things over with and enjoy the holidays.

speaking of the holidays, you guys have any plans for the holidays? where to shop? who to shop for? decorations? parties? I sure hope you had 'coz me? nothing yet. Haha! Since it's the first time we'll be spending the holidays in Makati, i guess well be making slight changes in our annual traditions. uh, not like we have that of a big thing in our tradition or something. But somethings gotta change, right?

im curently listing my "who to shop for" people. And i would be working on the "what to shop" list for the "who to shop for" people. uyyy, excited na ako...haha. only one problem, cash... but christmas is 2 weeks away, i can still save up. yeah!

little morning angel

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 14:58:58 GMT

she wakes with such poignant eyes
the sun awes the complexity of dawn
beaming through such gentle edges of gold
inches against the linen of her lashes

the wind, in great tranquility,
hissed against her soft silk-like stands
as she steps into the warmness of the light

a smille slowly etches on her lips
as she folded her little hands together
to earnestly invoke guide
for a journey awaiting her

what tarot card are you?

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 01:32:52 GMT

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 05:39:42 GMT

NSTP. Today was our last field work in NSTP. At last! foo~ So we had this last little agape for our tutees and their parents to e able to gather and enjoy the company of the whole block. Food was bought, cooked and prepared for the said occasion. Also the prizes were as well counted for the games that out block vice-president programmed.

i was so happy to see Airamson and Jose attend the party. They were very nicely dressed unlike some of the kids who were only wearing slippers that they have clearly used for tumbang preso. But the two were very shy at the beginning and they were just sitted beside me than sitting along the benches with their fellow tutees. Of course Airamson has been demanding me to give him updates on my love life, which he never lost interest in. Of course i was alright with sharing it, besides, i wouldn't see him after this, right? Jose was quite excited with my blockmate's magic tricks, i wasn't sure if he can do those abracadavers and all so i looked forward to seeing it as well. His act was up. Goodness! it was a hoax. Haha! His tricks were like decades ago! he performed this card trick which every one knew how to do. Also he made some coin tricks which he, after a few tries, never got right.

That morning i wasn't s sure what type of bread to pull out from the bakery for the agape activity. I was looking for newly baked goods and i couldn't decide. So i just randomly exclaimed in such a distressed-almost-late-and-i-have-to-go-now tone of voice, "cheese bread! paki lagay lahat sa box." So out baker packed 80 chesse breads in two cake boxes and sealed it with some plastic ribbon. He now carried my boxes until i got a cab. So i lost 200 bucks for all those bread plus my 100 buck ride cab ride to la salle. Damn i was only bringing 500 pesos because we were planning to watch happy feet. well, now im broke.

i felt good after the agape. same sentiments goes to my blockmates. The food was good (no bread left!), games were also good too, the crowd was aight, my blockmates enjoyed themselves till it lasted and i get to spend the jollies time with my tutees. Definitely the best NSTP!

Dinner. soon my sister's getting wed. anyway, off topic muna tayo. She jus go her bonus from work and she invited me and mom to dinner in greenbelt. although she said about the dinner not one week ago, i was surprised to recieve a call from her that the dinner was TONIGHT. it was aight. ut i thought she would just treat us tomorrow when everybody else is totally prepared for the occassion. So we ate at Bubba Gumps. The food was great. I was also thinking of inviting my friends there on my debut. but its still such a long time away and the subject would be best left for a while.

NSTP-CWTS2

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:14:35 GMT

today was definitely one of the best meetings. probably the most emotional too. i really didn't wanna go to this field work becase we're just gonna do another turoring session with our tutees. dude, it's like the most boring thing! it's hard enough that grade 4 kids cannot properly make a decent sentence without me finding several grammatical errors, but with those boys running and running around? its pretty damn hard.

since im already starting to like my tutees, Jose and Airamson, i went anyway. very brief introductions... Jose is this really quiet guy but cannot keep his focus on only one thing for, like what? 5 seconds. Whenever i teach him something, he would look at it then, poof! his mind goes somewhere else and turns his head away. Airamson's this very chubby kid with a loud mouth. His mouth never stops as if powered by ultra-electro-magnetic-batteries or something like that. Very very inquisitive. Too bad it's not about the lesson. He asks me, jeff and bijie (tutors of the friends of Airamson and Jose) about our school, how big it is, our families and even our love lives. But he never came out annoying to me.

today was also the day their parents were called to their school to claim their report cards for the previous quarter. Bijie's tutee wasn't able to come so he never saw her report card. Kelly, Jeff/s tutee recieved "good" grades (as their moms would say) of 80, 81, 79.... goodness! Jose's grades, except for computer subject, were no higher than 80. And of course, little fat-so Airamson got no lower than 78 which was alright.

Jose could do all the things i have taught him, what he lacks is the interest and will to do so. Without it, he's not focused on his work. Airamson, although very naughty, was able to learn because he wanted to be taugh and is not afraid to correct all his mistakes.

after the session, my tutees gave me a thank you letter. Well it says that they are happy to be my students and that they enjoyed asking about my love life and at the same time learning. haha! they also wished that i would teach them next term but unfortunately it cannot be done, it's the last NSTP_CWTS for me and my blockmates. Although im not gonna be able to see them ever, i just hope i have imparted enough to at least be remembered when they go further to higher years of learning.

next saturday we will be holding a party for the children and their parents to gather and celebrate the last meeting for this term. At last! Still no plans for the food, games, prizes or whatever pa. well work on it :P

enrollment

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 15:06:12 GMT

November 20-Online Enrollment for ID#s 106 at 2pm onwards
December 6- Claiming or EAF and payment of fees at the registrar's office

you know what? im actually excited about the next term. It will be my last term as a frosh. i guess me ang my blockmates are no longer gonna be the babies of college od engineering. But i will miss all the reviewers and the turoring that they did for us, though. Can you blame us? we had the worst combination of doctor teachers any frosh would've experienced. We had Dr. Bacani in our TrigSol who was one of the terror teachers for, not being masungit or anything, but for being misunderstood. Yah, she was nice but, we just can't understand a thing she says. When she discusses something, after the period *poof* its out of our heads. Also, we had Dr. Tolentino( chemistry), now she's the masungit one. She marked all of us minus 10 for late submission of test papers. what's up with that? My blockmate was already giving her the papers but she said that to hold on for the late papers. We were all surprised to see her leaving the room without the papers, so my blockmate had to run after her to the teacher's elevator just to ask, i mean, beg her to accept them. Dr. Brondial is a really good professor, but never cross her, she will be your worst enemy. She is this very meticulous professor who can really pin point every single sign, number, smudge and symbols in your quiz notebook, and if she spots something or didn't find something, she will mark it wrong.

I have already prepared 3 schedules for the online enrollment this monday. Im still making more just in case i encounter problems with loosing slots for the classes i wanted or i change my mind about taking them. Im taking 20 units this term, thats already full load although we were allowed to take up to 21 units that is if we can take the heat. But of course i'll be prioritizing my major subjects than the floating subjects or minors.

I was thinking of enrolling in kumon for my major subjects for help. I think i've been bothering too much people just to ask them to teach me and leave their work instead. im not yet sure about that, anyway i still have weeks to think about it. I just dont want to be crammed with so many concerns at the moment.

:D btw, i just created my multiply account, if you wanna check it out just click the link below....

AngelByBlessing

might not have been

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 13:11:23 GMT

What if i am where i wanted all along? I just didn't see it because i kept looking elsewhere, but its right in front of me. I mean, much of my discontent makes me grow even more eager to get out of there. What i failed to see is that i can do it althought i might not want it that much. besides, to get to know it i should learn to stick to it, right?

Maybe i just expected too much from college. People told me to reach for my dreams. If i wanted to write, if i wanted to paint or whatever...then i should shift from engineering. Owaryt! but then, i wasn't so sure where to go. Just because i am not quite enjoying engineering, i should shift to something i think is more interesting, i dont think so. I haven't really tasted the sweets and spoils of eng, im still a frosh! I wouldn't know if it is fun until i really got to spend time doing it.

What if i was placed here for a reason? or for some purpose or something? and who knows what i'll miss if i did shift courses, diba? *getting wierder and wierder by the second* So, i'll just take it on one more time and see what's coming, foo!

It's been a while since i posted something smart and sensible. Haha! maybe im just pressured to comply to somebody's "demands." bato-bato sa langit! and tamaan...sorry ka! *just joking*

D

highschool

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 10:27:16 GMT

I really wanted to narrate my highschool life in Elizabeth Seton but i hardly have enought time and space to be able to finnish it. so brace yourselves...

mad kaws milk. primera delubyo (our 1st year intrams theme). i- minaralogy turned into I- zamboanga del sur. multiple cases of test papers flying off the windows. linggo ng wika. hanap gimmik. table tennis group during lunch. 4th place two years in a row sa intrams. 1st place naman nung last two years. scandals. brokebacks. tear gas incident. kickouts. nerds. geeks. the writers. seton notes (school newspaper). big canteen. white house. small canteen (bawal don!). the popular. the cheerleaders. the jocks. the varsity team. the leaders. the bossy supervisors. prefect of discipline. teacher's pet. teacher's fave or not. writer's block. sugod sa clinic kapag na-jejebs. the untouchables. the kulto. gimmikeros of ATC. amaterasu (2nd year intrams theme). free tanning during cheering practices. II-south cotabato. renovation of classroom deco. mga crush ng bayan. mga hanggang tingin lang. mga "sila na". the break ups. the get backs. kleptos. liars. snitches. pinakamadugong intramurals sa metro manila. mga shooting ng star cinema sa school, most especially first day high sa gym namin. btw, the brand new high tech gym.cramming blues. thesis kay sir Iean. market study sa TLE. OJT ko sa Mcdonalds Casimiro branch. case of the missing ruler (hawak hawak ko lang pala). mad cow's milk disasters. the seton bus. fieldtrips gone bad. Biak na bato. majayjay falls (lamig!). cheering choreography 3rd year and 4th year, yours truly. philippine map formation. scorpion fomation (check the photos...we did that!) Katipuneros (3rd year intrams theme). Pintados (4thyear intrams theme). 1st place ako sa individual medley swimming competition (intrams). christmas party (spongecola!). the batch bands. mtvs. mother seton play. frio mixx. dasayawit. love teams. older girls with younger boys. bloopers. III-Sulu. IV-Cotabato City. karaoke ng cotabato city. impeng negro play. kuko ng liwanag play, your truly again. number code for every crush. gradball couples. gradball frustrations. graduation kwelas. napatid ako sa stage nung kumukuha ako ng award ko. the smokers of our batch. the bad girls. the nice boys. the goths. the conyos. the cellphone confiscations. retailing. mga puyat na natutulog sa computer lab. face painting during 3rd year cheering competition. face and arm paintings during 4th year cheering comp. butt slappers. pulling up skirts. card games. the twisted love lives. boy bawang girls. yaoi and yuri. farewell parties. noli me tangere play. el fili play. florante at laura video. ibong adarna video. commercial videos. gigs.grad pics! (high demand, low supply. UP-College of economics quiz bee 3rd placer, weee~. exchange gifts. college application forms. CCP performance (we performed grease...movie starring john travolta and olivia newton john). Pearl batch. Pasaway batch. might be the worst batch, pero pinakamatalinong batch in 10 years. Pinakamasayang batch yet. Sulong! Pintados!

:D guess thats about it. i'll upload the scorpion formation next time, ok?

very...very....naughty...

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 04:12:23 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last week I set rei999 's puppy on fire, but I managed to at least save the tail (-66 points). In August I committed genocide... Sorry about that, kr_inuki (-5000 points). In November I put gum in final_stargazer 's hair (-12 points). yesterday, I foooED jenshinrai , and butt attacked her (-10 points). but inspite of all the horrible things i did, I helped stevecasas567 see the light...that is when i killed him (-80points).

Overall, I've been very very naughty (-5000 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
AngelByBlessing

Bridging or Leaving Gaps?

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 15:35:55 GMT

       For the past 8 months, I thought i can get rid of the delinquent hard-headed Mikka and just pretend that she had never been. I was guessing it wouldn't matter because when i started meeting new faces, i was just able present myself as everyone's average me. Not some junkie from a breeding center for wild out-of-control pins (juvenile delinquents). Although much damage and wounds were inflicted then, only to live in silence and humility i find catharsis from the distress of my misteps.

       In silence, i dare not speak of people, places and events from my used-to-be home. I was afraid that if people continously find out more and more, i feel as if i am pushing them farther and farther away. Although, i may have changed so much, it will never ever change the fact that i used to be that junkie. So if i tell, am i really bridging gaps or just leaving even bigger, irremediable gaps?

       In humility, which is more difficult, I have been meek at heart. In its reticence, i let myself endure the everyday's burden of remorse and insignificance. To wake up each wonderful morning with the memory of what the storm still left for me.

       Have i been seeking narcotic escape? Wherein i would just have to fight to forget it until it fades away in time. Or sedation? One that reduces the amount of guilt and inferiority. Or maybe an analgesic/pain reliever? Something or someone to release me from containment.

       Healing takes time. But goodness, why this long? I was so eager to start over, new home, friends, school and life! But right now, i dunno...

Government by the People, for the People

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 15:41:05 GMT

* i did this paper for somebody in my school (not ganna tell who). i did some hard researching on this and evetually got a nice feedback from ate bianx...its complicated so don't let me explain much, aight? *

*main point: democracy? what democracy?*

Filipinos thought that breathing would be much easier now since they were saved from the previous occupants’ wrath in World War II. They hope that the new occupants would somehow be better. But they weren’t given much a well but another clientelist government.

The Philippines was given freedom, but the freedom came with a price. Although given the freedom to have Filipinos as representatives, they are still slowly eaten up by the manipulative words of the Americans of promises for power and governance over the Filipino government system.

The American Occupation

This was the period when the Filipinos worked side to side with the Americans as allies. Or as enemies who were waiting for the opportune moment to gain control.

The Americans were sovereign over the Philippine government. They kept watchful patronage over the country’s administrations and systems, creating ways to be able to indirectly implement their standards and policies. They, conditionally, present Filipinos with great ideas for development to get their approval in their desired foreign customs. And Americans need this support, especially from political figures in the country to elevate their superiority more above their colony. Through a few Filipino collaborationalists, it was easy for Americans to serve as patrons for the so-called “building of an efficient national system”.

Politics was limited only to the literate. Suffrage is exclusively for the literate, preferably, intellectuals. Because of this, most Filipinos are deprived of a mingling with politics. The rest of the Filipinos will only have to wait for an outcome and accept whatever outcome is handed to them.

During the political developing years before 1907, struggle for power by both American and Filipinos is very much evident. But the dominant puppeteer was William H. Taft. On the hierarchy of this struggle, he occupies the top as he omnisciently puppets every move of his inferiors. He needed highly influential individuals, a very few chosen from many Filipino leaders, who can would be able to persuade Filipinos to look up on American control as for betterment. The federalistas.

The Federalistas and the Nacionalistas

Two parties contested their way during the First Philippine Assembly, wherein the Nacionalistas radically pursued on self-governance over the Philippine system. They have exposed the manipulation of the Americans who slowly twitch the systems into a system similar to theirs.

The Federalistas grew dependent of the governance of the country’s occupants as the backbone of a new and effective system. It is like when the Filipino leaders take over, the Americans will then hand them all the plans they want to be implemented in the Philippines. Unknowingly, being part of their clientele of puppets endorsing their sovereign power.

The clientelist politics has been secretly conducted as the strings that play the puppets. Without federalistas, his clients, W.H. Taft wouldn’t be able to stand a chance against the growing number and dominance of the opposing party. In 1907, Cameron Forbes became one of the clients of Taft, who demonstrated his power through the approval of Manuel Quezon. He endorsed Quezon’s popularity and influence as a Nacionalista and the Assembly Floor Leader while he persuades his superiority over the Assembly.

The Nationalistas, on the contrary, were able to determine the continued practice of colonial democracy. For one, it contradicts itself. Democracy, defined as a form of republican government in which the dominating officials are derived from mass consent, isa basically government by the people. Colonialism is the sovereignty of a colony and a colonizer. Thus, having colony subjected to the system implemented by the occupants of the country. With one contradicts another result to an anomalous government system.

            Philippine Democracy

            The year was 1907 when the First Philippine Assembly was held. Osmeña as its elected speaker had long argued for self-governance and political independence of the Philippine government. He went to missions in the United States to defend a self-controlled government, for the Philippines to be left alone to run its own democratic government system. It was between dependency as the traditional ways and independency as the new and free governance, two parties struggling to win popular vote.

            This was the fight for decisions unanimously made by the people of this country, a voice of misgivings to be addressed

            The decision, by dominance in number, was in favor of the Nacionalistas. This was the turning point where the Nacionalistas won over the traditional Federalistas and their American patrons for an uncontrolled government not for rebelling against American standards. The Philippines had a democratic system years after.

        Ill-Gotten Wealth

            None of us can tell whether the past Philippine presidents were corrupt or not. What we know is that ill-gotten wealth hides in many forms and manifests in various aspects that are might not be visible but greatly affects the way we live our lives.

            Monopoly

            It is not only during the Tobacco Monopoly that foreign occupants had control of our economy. Also, not only in politics were the Filipinos monopolizes by the Japanese and the American settlers. For all we know, Filipino entrepreneurs might have done the same to their fellowmen.

            The telecommunications companies here in the Philippines are monopolies, mainly focusing on Antonio “Tony Boy” Cojuanco, the president of the Philippine Long Distance telephone Company (PLDT.) This company is subjected and dependent to the heavy regulations of the government. Tony Boy Cojuanco was very well taken care of by most Philippine presidents, one of which is Ferdinand Marcos. Who was said to have partial percentage of PLDT’s income, but was not taken up in court.

            Although Cory, during her presidency, swore to investigate and destroy all the former president’s “business” partners, PLDT was just among the those partners who got off the hook with the Marcos’ ill-gotten wealth. Besides, Cory was Cojuanco’s cousin, and government connections can be easily negotiated to parry mass suspicion.

            But when Fidel V. Ramos was elected, the protection of the crony businesses was endangered. Ramos focused on the investigation of PLDT’s wealth by former general, Jose Almonte. It was his aim to strike at the center of protectionism between large companies and their elites (strong connections in the government or political figure allies.)
            PLDT was indeed in danger. Their 30 years of dominance of their highly profitable business was being rocked since they are vulnerable with the issue of Marcos’ wealth that was never clarified in court. If the government agreed to share with PLDT, it would probably end the family legacy’s business.
            PLDT is the concrete example of protectionism of businesses and government or political connections. Also PLDT was run by the generation of Cojuanco who are not only entrepreneurs but they also became influential political figures. With their power, the family would be privileged of protection from the state rather than serving solely for business purposes.

            Immigration

            The Commission on Immigration and Deportation (CID), now adopted as Bureau of Immigration in 1989, was reportedly as “one of the most notoriously corrupt agencies in the Philippine government,” as described by Miriam Defensor-Santiago when she was appointed by Corazon Aquino as the first woman commissioner.

            Corrupt immigration was rampant during Santiago’s commissioning years in CID. Fake Identification cards were recklessly given off to criminals in and out of the country. This agency was allowed to operate as traders of prostitutes, entertainers, workers and human smugglers. This was all for money and the privilege of “living large” through crime.

            Santiago cleaned up the “dirt” of this agency, figuratively and literally. She had the filthy office cleaned up for better working environment. And as for the issue of immigration, she took it on the anomalies if this agency with aggressiveness and emerged as victor gracefully as the dirt deteriorates. She had 323 criminal immigrants arrested during her first 8 months. With that, the agency has been instilled with fear acquiring illegal papers, documents and identification cards for what awaits them if Santiago would find out.

            Infrastructure

            Carlos Fortich, governor of Bukidnon province, was never happy about the roads linking Davao and Bukidnon. He had been handing down all his misgivings to the Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH) of the insufficiency of the funds for the construction of this 108 kilometer road. This long road not only connects the two provinces but it also serves as the means of transportation of trade goods, faming tools and commuters.

            Such provinces, Mindanao considered as the country’s food basket, should be given much importance on the building of infrastructures to improve traveling. DPWH did not address this problem as fast as they should have been. Why? Highways and bridges have deadlines of construction but most of those deadlines were not met.

            For instance, the 52 kilometer road linking Zamboanga del sur to Pagadian was supposed to be finished on March 1997 but only 7 percent of the project was done two months after the deadline passed.

            Poor addressing of infrastructural problems hinders Mindanao to perform as food baskets as what they are popularly known. 12 percent, on the average, of the infrastructural budget was allotted to Mindanao. Now, Mindanao is deprived of the roads that they mostly need because of slackers of the agency.

            Pork Barrel

            “Eagerness to grab as many as possible,” or “to fight of the gluttons” might be the best explanation of Pork Barrel. This term was used

            Pork Barrel was not supposed to be an issue in the public office would make their projects felt by the people who are in most need of it. But if projects that are supposed to be implemented are not put into action and are just too long for a wait, then there is a problem.

            So, there is “good” pork and “bad” pork. The “bad” pork would be implied as a practice wherein profits go to the contractors while minimum projects are delivered back. Good and bad pork can be primarily distinguished as how much the congress gets from funds and its proportion to how much project has been done.

            These cuts are often called rebates or discounts. However, these are tragic euphemisms that hide what robbery and deceit it is capable of inflicting on us, especially to the poor.

Sources:

Paredes, Ruby R. Philippine Colonial Democracy (1989). Loyola heights, Quezon City, Philippines: ATENEO DE MANILE UNIVERSITY PRESS. pp. 41-66

Salonga, Jovito R. Presidential Plunder: The Quest for the Marcos I'll Gotten Wealth (2000). Quezon City Philippines: U.P. CENTER FOR LEADERSHIP, CITIZENSHIP AND DEMOCRACY AND REGINA PUBLISHING CO. p77-146

De Viana, Augusto V. Kulaboretor: The issue of Political Collaboration During World War II (2003). España, Manila, Philippines: UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS PUBLISHING HOUSE. pp. 15-34

edited by Coronel, Shiela S. Pork and Other Perks (1998). Quezon City, Philippines: PHILIPPINE CENTER FOR INVESTIGATIVE LEARNING. PP. 112-145, 150-181, 186-215, 216-240

Mangalpus, Raul S. A Pen For Democracy(1986). Washington, USA: WASHINGTON OFFICE AND MOVEMENT FOR A FREE PHILIPPINES (MFP). PP.3-10, 12, 14-16, 20-23

Page Turner Life

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 15:11:02 GMT

It is such a blessing to be given a chance to know where you have wronged. Also a blessing to know you are given that chance to leave them as footprints. The longer you move away from them, the more they get blurrier and blurrier from your sight.

Maybe anger, hatred or sadness are just supposed to be left behind. Besides, its how you have become after those experiences counts, right? These horrid things, things you wished didnt happen, would only weigh you down in the journey and best be carried off your back. But it doesn't mean you forget the pain. The pain will always be with you all you life. Luckily, as you go on, the pain disintegrates to just plain memories of that dark time of your life.

Then there are the memories you have forgotten. Or have you? You wish you did. it works but it will surely finds its way back to your thoughts. I guess thats what happened to me.

People remember you by how long you have spent your time with them and how you did so. Then you decided to change a life you have grown doubtful of. So its a new life for you. New friends, neighbors, community and culture. *sighs* much better then before... then poof! there goes old friends treating you like the crap you used to be before.

It might have been difficult for them to accept big changes in you. They might have felt more comfortable with who they know more. But is it still what you want them to think about you? think about that...

Divine Immortal Women of Manila

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 02:24:49 GMT

It is all about her. How she was raised, molded by her perfect mother. Her mother was divine. It was because she was also raised by insanely beautiful parents. Her mother had melancholy eyes, which she inherited. It was because they're both beautiful. Because they just are, with old Spanish blood reigning down beneath their vaguely colored skin. It was because they're born pale. Pale...yes, but faces with that natural blush as if some body was extravagantly paid to deliberately slap them. It was because her mother married a gambler. Because he was rich, filthy rich. Because he owns his own land. Because he inherited it. Because he sold all the other lands he inherited. Because he used the money to gamble. Because the casino would have him, welcome him with such wide open arms. Because he smokes tobaccos. Because her mother was a devoted Christian. Because he was not. But she swears like the devil. Knows every name in the book. He swears too. It was because she was arrogant. She was beautiful, why not? Crazy bitch. He exclaims when he used to visit America often. But she wasn't only crazy, she was also nasty. Because she loves to hire old Negros. Because he never stopped sleeping with the young ones.

It was all about her. Her big break on TV. A beauty queen like her mother. It was because she was not what she wanted. It was her mother that’s on TV. What her mother wished she would be. Because they're superbly hand-painted, created by God. Because she dared not tell her she's in love.

Manila 1945. She was in love. But never dared to tell her momma. Instead she eloped. Because her love asked her to do so. He’s a doctor for the army during the jap occupation. Because he was leaving. He wanted to be with her. She felt overwhelmed with his raspy passionate voice telling her how much he loves her. How much he will miss her touch. She does miss him. Until now that her parents refused her return when she decided to go back with a swollen belly. Because she left at the peak of her career. Because she is still beautiful after running away, only with an enormous carriage. She came back because he died. Such remorse she cannot take. Because she loves him.

Manila 1946. She went back home for the last time. It was because her father died. And her mother alive and beautiful as usual. She has a slimmer body than she remembered. Very few wrinkles. They are hidden beneath those wonderfully masked foundation and shadowed eyes. Because surgery wasn't an option, it was an escape. But she already had. Her daughter looks like her sister already. She just gave birth to a boy. Pobre. Her momma called him. A son of a dead war doctor. A dead love. Practically not a member of the family. Her daughter, now a mother, still is a part of it. the better half, only one left. Her brunette hair curled carelessly down her breasts. She was still beautiful.

It was all about her. How love gave her what she wanted, then left her with nothing. How her mother loved her so much, but not made it real. How she poorly puts on make-up and eventually has someone do it for her. Because she didn't want it. And her mother did so much. Love in pursuit of ill happiness. How love gave her a beautiful dead army man's boy.

The boy had her eyes, melancholy ones. Dried and sad. Little he knows his grandmother loves him too. She will learn to.

* im still experimenting on this technique, hope you like it. Enjoy!*
*feel free to post comments, suggestions, violent reactions, if ya wanna beat the hell outta me...do so.. or something*

Thanks:D

Review on The Marine

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 15:00:20 GMT

Wow! Are action movies always like this? I am not a big fan of action movies but do they really have similar plots or am i just good at guessing. Haha! Look, John Cena's been discharged from the marines because of recklessness and disobedience. So now he works as a security for some company then beats up a guy who's been making a scene in the office. By doing so he was fired. (doi!) Now he has no job, he goes home, his wife found out what happened 'cause its all over the news, and she asks him out on a trip to loosen it all up. And then on the trip, they made a quick stop at a gas station, John Cena leaves his wife in the car to get drinks, then the bad guys who just robbed the jewelry shop came, then the police followed, bad guys got suspicious, killed the police offficers, takes Cena's car and of course, his wife as the hostage. BOOM! goes the gas station but John cena lived. (unless, you wanna end the story...)

So like every action dude, John Cena chases after the bad guys. Drove a burning and about to explode police car over the cliff, chased them down the swamp with alligators and snakes (which were obviously filmed away from the stars just to add that dangerous outdoorsy swamp effect) and escaped another burning and about to explode house. blahblahblahblahblah*action scenes* blahblahablahblahblahablah And eventually got his wife out of the drowning truck. She lost consciousness, but he revived her since he's a "marine."

i would have to rate this movie 1 out of 5 stars. It still has effects, and John cena even added a touch of wrestling moves in the battle scenes. AND i am not that heartless.

Review on a Madman

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 05:47:38 GMT

This is one work among the sunflower collection of my favorite artist, Vincent Van Gogh. This work's title is Hommage, although not my favorite work, Van gogh amazingly made this one so real i can see distinctions from each flower down to their petals and leaves. The imperfections of the colors, the awkwardness of each element, and a sinch of the artist's madness created such a materpiece not an ordinary eye to appreciate.

Maybe this is how Van Gogh fell. He was just too of a beautiful person that no one, even his fellow painters who might have shared the same passion in arts, was able to see. See, he was this very passionate artist who spent most of his days capturing on canvass different aspects and forms of life. His style seems like a mere child's painting scribbles on some paper. But what made his squiggling strokes so amazing is that the light reigned over the deep and dark layers. It baffles me since Van Gogh lived such a depressing life which also ended tragically.

it was just many many years after his suicide that his works were so valuable that they have been stolen many times before it has been retrieved and, i think, brought to the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam or in Louvre.

My favorite work of Van Gogh is Stralight over th Rhone and Starry Starry Night. What can i say, i love heavenly bodies.

Anyway, people like Van Gogh may come rough around the edges. He was a madman, but he was also a lover. He just loved so much, asking for the same thing in return which he never had until the day he finally let go. yes, a madman, a genius too.

"i could've told you Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you..." -Vincent by Don McLean

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 04:49:15 GMT

I woke up today with a seriously aching body. The pain practically forced me out of bed. So i walked to the bathroom, i tried taking a shower since its already 6:30am and i have to go to school. After i got out of the bathroom, i felt so dizzy, i can hardly see right. So i was calling my mom 'coz i was so helpless. then, when i grabbed hold on to something, not quite sure where, i just dropped and i was leaning onto the door of my room. I was all sweaty and i can't get up. My mom and sis was panicking and i was like in vertigo... i guess i shouldn't continue what happened next...

Well now, im aight. Still in pain ut not as much as what i have endured this morning. Goodness! i've never been so scared to the point im incapable of moving. this morning was just, i dunno, distubing.

I guess i should really take care of myself now. Not take myself for granted, and not push myself to the limit. This was like abig realization that i am not as stong as most of my friends who are like charged with heavy duty batteries. Haha! i should be resting so, ja ne! :P

My Sister's Wedding...

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 16:04:22 GMT

i finally had the urge to write after so many, many weeks. Damn writer's block took so long, im practically going nuts! It was pretty good timing , though. I was preparing my speech on my sis's wedding this Febuary, i guess she became my inspiration thats why i didn't have any problems writing something on her big day.

When i was writing my speech, i was thinking of something "kwela." Something that will lighten the mood of the celebration, but instead of feeling good about it i was at the brink of shedding tears. I just realize how much im going to miss my sister's company especially during the dark times of our lives, thanks to my two-timer dad. *just joking* She had been there thoughout my life, she the only one who can understand me completely...so we're really that close. Also the funny thing is, whenever i'm with her it always ends up to catastrophic events. If we're not fighting, the two of us will be lost in the middle of nowhere like missing children or could be very undecided that we just dont know what to do next... sabog kumbaga!

She also had hard times too. but i always thought of her as the smartest among our family. She is like this insanely, package of pure genius. She is very logical and very smart although she may know little about the "streets." But it's alright. With her boyfriend, who is also as smart as her but with better knowledge of the outside world, i don't think there will be a problem in their married life.

recently we were just planning on her wedding. She had this problem a few weeks ago who will walk her down the aisle. Since she told everyone that our ncle will walk her, every one else shutted the hell up. Now after that dilemma, they are now picking on my debut! They were all curious who's gonna take my father-daughter dance. Of course my dad couldnt come so i'll take my other dad. but i am afraid that people would say something bad about my mom if they see...

so back to my sis's wedding. I feel so happy for her. Although i didn't want her to leave soon, im just so damn happy. The wedding pretty soon and we hardly have time to go on gimmiks or movies because of the planning thing. But we are able to have heart-to-heart conversations especially on family issues.

I pray to God that she and her fiance would live a healthy, happy and fruitful life. :D And they have all my love...

Movie Review with little add-ons : World Trade

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 15:28:33 GMT

Ain't it so sweet to have somebody say "you kept me alive" after enduring such numerous pains of life. I wonder, how can someone be so special to be able to deserve such wonderful words, ne?

so anyways i've heard this line from the movie Wold Trade starring Nicolas Cage. And the movie was really good. the story wasn't about the tragedy. It was about 2 policemen who were involved in the tragedy and how love and their will to live saved them. See, they were rapped under the ruble for days, they were hungry, thirsty and so longing for their families and their homes. Surrounded by darkness and the dead, the two only had the company of each other to remember how much they have missed home so much since they were always on duty as police men. So when they got out, and Nicolas cage was on their way to the operating room. His wife accompanied him on the way. he told her with his raspy, exhausted voice that the thought of her kept him alive.

But i have yet to open myself to a new relationship. I dunno, maybe im so focused on my goals as of the moment. Or maybe i wanted to set my own life right before i give it to someone who will really love me. (awww...im getting quite mushy here...) Besides, there's nothing wrong with being single. In fact, im enjoying it. Im still young so i really dont have to rush. The right man might just be around the corner waiting for me to bloom out to the open. :P

4 out of 5 stars... :D

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:29:18 GMT

               Well, Steve made me think if i had changed for the better since what happened to me during my senior year (don't ask... it wasn't pretty...) He's been bragging to me about how bad i was to some people. So i did some thinking if i have made changes. hmmmm...

               If there were changes, i guess they're very minimal. Although people may say that they've seen some maturity in my personality, i don't feel like i have moved on much from the bad-snob-cold-insensitive-strong willed-stubborn whatever girl i used to be. Maybe because maturity didn't come budding for me, it just opened up ang hit me right on my face. goodness! its like "welcome to maturity, bitch!" then *whappak!*

               But i am thankful for what happened back then. I would imagine myself as the nice girl who does not know anything about the cruel, harsh and unpredictable world if those things didnt come my way. I never regretted any decisions i have made all my life. I may have taken wrong turns but somehow i gained much from it. But my bestfriend always told me that never say "I should have given it more thought..." as a regret. If i am sure that i am willing to go great distances for what i want, then it is worth the journey, ne?

               Maturity was the worst thing that happened to me, and yet enjoying every part of the damn thing. I may be gradually, very gradually learning about maturity, but im getting there. You'll see :P

SUBJECT: GETTING A FIRM GRIP OF SANITY 101

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 16:16:00 GMT

I hardly had enough sleep last night, damn ENGLRES (english research). We were asked to write at least a page of annotations and comment on each of our damn sources. The sources are for our major term paper which will be passed more than a month from now. So here I am doing all the work for my partner, who gives me the reason that he is a lousy writer as an excuse not to do anything about the annotations. Also i had to make the powerpoint presentation for our reporting on Buddhism in RELSONE (religion), which my groupmates did not made any effort in asking to help me.

so all in all, i was still working up to 2 am or 3am then i slept until 5 am to continue my work. I finished my work at around 9am (and my class starts at what?....9:20? *sighs*). goodness! I was already late for my first class even if i ran through MRT and LRT.

But it was already nothing for me, really. I just have to get these things done and go straight to school, pass it and im free. I didn't bother about resenting any anger, frustration or sleepiness, i just had to finish the damn homeworks.

In school i devoted myself to making my day better as it could be no matter how sleepy and tired i was. But no matter how i try, the following unfortunate and down-right embarrasing moments just came my freaking way:

1. From the LRT-vito cruz station, i was holding my LRT SV(stored value) card on the way to the school gate near the conservatories. Every gate has a barcode reader wherein you just place your wallet (of course with your id in it) or your id on top of the reader to be able to enter. well, since i was so sabog, i placed my LRT SV on top of the reader. the guard was like saying "miss, di ho id yan." Since, again, im sabog...i flipped the card and had the other side scanned. nothing. The i got irritated, i wiped the card sideways on the reader. then the guard came in closer and said "miss, di ho id yan." then i realized that was holding the damn lrt sv! stupid! some of the students who were waiting behind me were just holding their mouths, trying so hard not to laugh at my sorry ass. Wednesday mornings are so nice, eh?

2. Okay i got to my first class, that was 10:00am. Then the class ended at 10:30. when me and my blockmates were waiting for the next professor, i wanted to go to the bathroom to freshen up. So iwas like turning the door knob of the class room and it wont open. So i was like looking outside if anyone is holding the knob from the other side but there was none. Then my ex-crush approached me and pushed the door for me. "Mikka, your supposed to push the door." So i looked just below the feaking knob and i saw 'PUSH' in bright green and white colors. Such a wonderful day to be embarassed in front of your ex-crush...

3. All throughout the day, my friends kept telling me that my minds seems to be travelling in god-knows-where. i haven't been paying attention to anything they have said or done. i just stood with them like a pathetic loser looking out to nowhere. what happened to me?

Maybe its just lack of sleep. i have been working and studying nonstop for the mid terms next week. And i feel like the endless pile of paperwork would just weigh me down. anyways i have to rest now, i still have classes tomorrow. (btw, cha-cha-cha uli kmi...Aaaaah!)

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 13:52:14 GMT

I wasn't able to blog last night because i was attending my blockmates debut :P

The party was done in Corinthian Gardens in Quezon City, the heavenly theme was to die for. Long lines of cloth in blue and white run above our heads and gold paper-mache’d stars tied suspended giving the theme such a wonderful feeling to the round function room. Angels, also painted in gold, are hung on the sides of the room. The crowd was aight, there weren't too much people thats why me and my blockmates were not that frozen stiff during the ceremony. Hah! To think that we were surrounded by rich, goodlooking, hunka, sizzling chinitos.

Enough about that, besides i am not quite fond of chinitos. The ceremony was alright. You can tell that all people who came for Pat (debutant) are very sincere. it seems that she chose only the very few people who are dear to her to celebrate her debut with.

Stay hungry to try new things. Have courage to take on obstacles. Pat's dad said these words after she gave her speech. The words are easy to understand but the thing is, i was even more touched to hear a father say so many inspirational thoughs on that day where everyone is celebrating his daughter's entering to womanhood. i envy her so much...

I came home last night from my blockmate’s debut with so many realizations and thoughts. Not once i have been given something like those from my own father. my dad was like, "yes dear, you can do that" or "wow! thats really good" or "ok, good. what else happened?" I feel like newscaster updating a tired man who just came home from work. And my 2nd dad, well, he's aight. Personally, i have no complaints. But i feel that he needs to be more fatherly to me than being the "okay-dear-just-tell-me-what-you-want-and-well-buy-it-for-you" type of dad. Its not like they don't love me, maybe they just dont know how to.

That is why i didn't want a programmed debut. For one thing, during the 18 roses it is a rule that the debutant is to dance with her father first. i didn't want to be put in the position that everyone around me would have opinions on me choosing another person aside form my dad, who i am very sure cannot attend my debut next year. My older sister is doing okay with who is walking her down the aisle on her wedding day (our uncle), which would also take place next year. She is already matured to handle decisions on her own. and people would not give that much of a damn on who will walk her when she weds. As for me, older people shoud still guide me, if not, manipulate me to whatever they want me to do. haaaay...buhay.....

Mom thinks i should ask my 2nd dad for my first dance in my debut. But i only worry on what people might think if they'd see. So i might be planning on a bar/club type of party for next year, to lessen pressure.

I guess i have said too much... good night everyone :P

To Battle!

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 12:40:31 GMT

I just figured out when i opened my sooooo tired eyes from slumber, that i should just get on and finish what i have started. Since my mom already found out that i am applying to another school for MMA, and i have already voiced out all my misgivings and concerns...i might as well go on and do it!

This week im planning to get as much application forms as possible in any school that offers MultiMeia arts. I already got one from College of St. Benilde, this wednesday im off to Asia pacific college with a friend and im still asking around for other schools.. haha!

For some reason i dont feel bad after having that conversation with my mom, well i should feel bad but i really don't. In fact, it was like i dropped something off my back... woohoo!

Well, from now on i'll be steering the wheel of muh life... actually my college life first. :P

*also i just found out how important it is for me to be affiliated closely to some very carefully chosen men. I seem to be comfortable whenever i talk to them about anything under the blazing sun. Besides, most men are true to how they feel, no plastikan or anything.... Saludo ako sa inyo! :P

btw, thanks francis for the drawing :D *check my userpic* :P

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 12:26:58 GMT

only at this point of my life that i am so positively sure of something. So sure that i can probably bet my life just to get there. So sure i can taste it in my sleep, i crave for it so much i can hardly stop myself from doing absurd things.

oh yeah, it is what i want... but what if no one believes i can actually get there?

i took up industrial engineering in de la salle-mla hoping to impress my mom and the rest of our family that i can actually be as smart as my older sis (who took the same degree in the same school...) She is like this really smart and serious person, not that its bad. And i am nothing, absolutely nothing like her. I am the only artist in the family, and none of em seem to care. well, unless i'd be something like my older sister.

Ever since i was applying for different colleges, i wanted to take Multimedia arts in any goddam school. but my mother didn't want me to end up moneyLESS in the future. artists are nt meant to be rich...unsle they are really good... Dammit!

just recently my mom found my application for transferee in benilde. my god! it was like hell! *enough about details* but it was not a good picture....

you know what? i have never been so unhappy with where i am today. so darn unhappy i can hardly think right...

Poker

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 17:14:28 GMT

deal me in!

it was just today that i learned how to play poker. My friends who i have played with this afternoon said that i have a good poker face. Haha! But i imagine my self making the "innocent-girl-learning-how-to-poker-and-she's-just-relying-on-luck-to-win" type of face. They were like yelling check, call, fault, burn or whatever, and i was like staring at them while they open the next card from the deck. I was only holding my pair of cards and smiling at them like a pathetic loser.

eventually i earned how to bluff on betting, expressions and gestures. Poker's not only a game of luck, it's a very manipulative game that every change and activity can influence the players' descisions.

what else happened today? I was a little bit pissed because my blockmates were teasing me to another blockmate. Well, its bothering me because im not used to being teased to someone else like that. anyways, i try not to think about it. i just have to go on my merry little ways.

Regarding my previous post, i don't thihnk im confused anymore. i just figured that all i have to so is forgive and just be careful for anything thta might go wrong. Besides, this is my decision and i have to be the one held responsible for the outcomes.

Btw, thanks to all the guys who have talked to me and comforted me during my troubles. >:D<